#but this really is just from straight drom the heart

[crispycreambacon]

Hey here's a question I'd like to ask: why do LGBT+ people in stories NEED to have a romantic partner in order to be validated as good representation?

The value of gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual etc. characters and their representation is often through whether they get a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a partner, etc., and I feel like that's kind of a limited way to view representation, you know?

And when people think of representation, they almost always picture relationships which obviously is understandable, but then they forget about transgender people, and they forget about aromantic and asexual people who may not have any interest in relationships whatsoever.

Or if they don't, trans people are viewed in the value of being a good romantic or sexual – typically sexual – partner, and if they don't cater to those fantasies, they get degraded and tossed out. Aroace people are vilified for not wanting to have relationships and called inhuman. Whether intentional or not, we get excluded for not conforming to the norm of our identity being based on relationships.

I'm obviously not against having LGBT+ romances like hell yeah, but just like how straight people can go through their entire lives being single and still express their sexuality, we can go through our lives being single. And is that such a bad thing to show in stories?

I think being able to normalize singleness and not prop up romantic relationships as the ultimate endgame can really help with the acceptance of aromantic, asexual and aroace people more and in general bring less judgment and more acceptance for those who don't fit the mold within the community.

[everybody-loves-purdy]

The thing is, they've really narrowed it down to 3 (arguably 2 because I genuinely don't think at any point have they honestly considered making it mothwing its just that shes the medicine cat and the only well established character so inherently important to this narrative about riverclan from a med apprentice's pov) options, and while there's a timeline out there where I could believe Frostpaw to bwcome leader... it really doesn't feel like this is it?

She's so far not showing ANY leader qualities in this, the final book, where you would think that's what they would do after she's gone on so many journeys. They had all of last book where they didn't seem to really know what to do to also establish it. And last book instead actually spent time... reestablishing her as a medicine cat? Unless this book throws out everything they've established so far and wastes her journey and has riverclan themselves choose her in a moment of bravery, I don't see her becoming leader.

The only realistic out of left field pick at this point is Dusk, though, and she is shown to be extra old and conservative, but I can see them pulling a character arc out of nowhere for her in this book since we haven't spent much time with her but have established her as existing.

I don't know if Icewing going away was so they could establish her as a character in ivypool's heart to make people root for her more and they just didn't think of the timeline, but I do think the preview has established this last book is likely going to be fast paced. (But they say the cats are only going to be gone a few days idk if thats another miscommunication between authors or setting up for the clans to worry about them not returning) or if it was to remove her from the picture? I think she'll be deputy if nothing else. I think she's the cat that they want us to think will be picked but the journey feels like it's removing her as an option.

I think that prologue, if the last chapter of last book didn't, and the comments about him so far have thoroughly established they arent gonna pull anything to say splashtail is the best option her just had to get over a bumpy beginning, though. Thats not actions they typically let cats recover from and theyre already saying he's just evil.

And the rest of riverclan have become the scared masses so unless a cat suddenly rises drom their rank I think all riverclan cats stoll in camp are being dismissed as options. Theyve certainly made sure it feels like frostpaw would never choose them evern if someone stood out among them with her even getting mad at the cats who got exciled for not standing up sooner.

Yeah I don't know, either this book's pacing is going to be insane and ignoring prior character development to get frostpaw where she needs to be, a mess to get icewing back in time, or to just pull a name out of a hat. It really feels like... they were super excited to make it impossible to guess until it happens but in the process have just straight up elliminated every option.

So I'm rooting for owlnose to get a second chance cause he feels as viable as anyone else at this point. Erins did their best to establish options but did even better at eliminating them as options and its entirely up in the air until we get to the choice on page.

It's by far my one major criticism of this arc, I feel like with 6 books either the options should have a stronger foundation for their possibility or we should already have such a strong idea its just a matter of showing them off by defeating splashtail at this point. It feels like they retroactively wasted the last book that was kind of filler in all honesty not doing this.

(And like i know you feel strongly about frostpaw being the winner but honestly itnfeels less like its because it makes sense as an option and more that there are no otherboptions as I said, imo)

This is a really good analysis on the whole thing.

I think the best way to explain my main reasoning behind Frostpaw becoming leader is through hope and also the quote

“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

Frostpaw is my number one leadership candidate largely because of a lack of better or eligible candidates. Icewing is close second but that is reliant on her being back from her Ivypool’s Heart quest in decent time. I do hope she becomes deputy at least though. Duskfur being antagonistic in the first half of the arc holds her back for me, although there is still time for that to be addressed and solved. And I really think Mothwing would be very unhappy with having to get nine lives and become leader and always have to answer to StarClan.

I think so far Frostpaw has shown herself to be suitably courageous and able to stand up for what she believes is right. She just hasn’t had many moments of displaying leadership yet, but she did organise the group at the start of Star, so I’m hoping, if she is to become leader, Star is used to establish her ability to take charge and actually lead cats prior to this. Maybe then and only then would Riverstar was maybe like “yeah I want you to be leader, I was just waiting for you to be ready”

I think it would be cool if she was always destined for leadership in her clan but her mother took a sledgehammer to that destiny and now Frostpaw has to develop these qualities quicker than she ever should have under normal circumstances in order to fulfil that destiny. But this is just purely a hopeful theory/idea and not at all established in the books thus far.

Like you say this whole thing is more of just “ok who is actually somewhat likely to become leader” rather than picking out a stand out candidate. Except Icewing of course, but again like you say, it looks like Star is going to move very quickly so I doubt she will get back in time, I saw someone calculate that the Ivypool’s Heart crew are gone about a moon. Which seems like a very long time. I feel like she could pop back up right at the end potentially, but I wouldn’t want her just to stroll in and get leadership almost immediately by default, I would want her to prove herself first.

[pak-pak-suhgar]

Lost One

Pairing: Johnny x Jaehyun

genre: angst, happy ending at the end.

Summary: In which where Jaehyun caught Johnny and Taeyong on their bed. With Johnny on top of Taeyong— topless. How did the two older guys got into that position? Jaehyun doesn't know and Johnny doesn't either, leaving the younger in a broken heart state.

A/N: My first yaoi fanfic on this blog and my first johnjae fanfic as well. This was written on phone so sorry for the mistakes. English isn't my first language either so I apologize for the grammatical error! Happy reading~

Johnny and Jaehyun has been dating for almost 4 years. Yes, you heard it right. They've been together for whole fucking years. So, why is it one of those times now where Jaehyun has to see an unpleasant scene before him? He stood at their door, frozen in his spot. Both guys haven't realized his presence not until he accidentally chokes out a sob. Johnny looked back, ready to glare whoever it was that interrupted them only to have his eyes widen. He immediately got off of Taeyong while the other older guy sat up. Panic was plastered over their face as Johnny quickly dresses himself and sprinted his way towards to Jaehyun. Ready to explain whatever bullshit he could come up with.

Jaehyun remained on his spot, unmoving but his eyes were avoiding the taller one's who was now grabbing both of his arms. Jaehyun was emotionally drained- exhausted, numb. His feelings was all over the place that he doesn't know what to feel, "Jaehyun.. I can explain... It's not what it looks like-" Slap! Jaehyun could feel the excruciatin pain on his palm the moment it landed on Johnny's cheek, "But it is what it looks like." he replied spitefully, as much as he wanted to sound emotionless and harsh. He was too hurt to even try to sound like one. Jaehyun doesn't want to hear Johnny's explanations, so he swatted the elder's hands and made his way towards their shared closet. He grabs his bag and began to put all of his stuff or whatever he could grab from the closet.

This put Johnny on alert as he stood behind Jaehyun and held his wrist in attempt to stop him, "Baby, what are you doing- where are you going?" he bombards the younger with questions. Jaehyun doesn't bother to reply as he only prys Johnny's hands away, when he settled most of his stuff. His eyes were bloodshot red, he looks at Johnny then at Taeyong who couldn't look straight in his eyes. He wanted to shout at both men and tell them off. But he decides that they aren't worth it, so instead pushes Johnny out of the way and left their room, "Jaehyun- baby, wait!" Johnny calls out but Jaehyun never turned back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks had passed since Johnny has last seen Jaehyun, he couldn't contact him either and he was worried sick. Jaehyun wasn't in the dorms, that was alarming. Johnny had tried to contact Jaehyun's closest friends, but none of them spoke about the younger's whereabouts. Or at least they wouldn't out Jaehyun just like that considering of what he did to Jaehyun. Johnny runs his hands through his hair in frustration and punched the wall, Taeyong who had witnessed the scene came up to Johnny and held hos hand, Johnny pushes him away and glared at him, "Don't fucking touch me! I-It's all your fault! Jaehyun is nowhere to be found and our relationship is at stake!" Taeyong could only scoff before glaring back at the taller male.

"If you could have had kept your dick in your pants and didn't allowed yourself to get seduced by me, you wouldn't be in this situation, Johnny. You put yourself into this situation." Taeyong says, before he leaves Johnny alone. He remained speechless and unmoving in his spot, what Taeyong said was true. Johnny wasn't able to wait for Jaehyun that he just let his emotions eat him up and control him to give in to his desires. Jaehyun had been fairly busy with his drama film that Johnny barely saw Jaehyun- let alone have sex with him. Whenever Jaehyun comes home, he was dead tired and would knock out the moment he sleeps in their bed. Johnny blames himself from everything that happened. He was afraid, he was scared- scared to death that Jaehyun will leave him for good. He sat on the floor and hugged his knees as he could do nothing but cry his heart out hoping that the pain will fade somehow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sicheng, I really can't bother you and Kun hyung anymore.. I'm sorry for crashing in but thank you for letting me stay." Jaehyun says, looking so apologetically at Sicheng. The male could only snort and waved his hand in dismiss, "Jae, you're always welcome here. Are you sure you can go back? Are you ready to face him?" Sicheng asks, concern written all over his face as he looks out for his friend. It took Jaehyun a few moments before nodding his head, "Yeah... I have to go home. I can't run away from it forever." he replies, he could feel the tears pricking his eyes but he blinks them away. He had been crying for weeks and his eyes honestly hurt a lot. Sicheng nodded his head in understanding, sighing at his friends' demise before giving Jaehyun a pat on the back, "Fine, but if you wanna come back. You're welcome to." He reassures with a smile, to which the younger returns happily. They hug one last time before Jaehyun went back to the dorm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A loud banging woke Johnny up from his sleep, he groans at the noise and flutters his eyes open, "Come in." he says in a groggy voice before sitting up, Haechan slammed the door open as he ran towards Johnny, "Hyung. Jaehyun hyung came back home last night" with the information that Haechan spit out, Johnny became wide awake as he looked at Haechan, "J-Jaehyun? Where is he? I need to go see him." he says, almost wanting to fly towards wherever Jaehyun is, "In his old room! At the 10th floor!" Haechan shouted before Johnny disappeared into sight.

He wasted no time going upstairs and instantly inputting the passcode to the dorm, thankfully no one was inside so he invited himself in. He didn't think twice to barge into Jaehyun's room, his eyes searching for the man everywhere and when it landed on the figure. He felt like he could breathe again, like suddenly the air that was knocked out from him came back. His gaze softens as he looks at the man who was peacefully asleep. But his heart breaks when he realizes that Jaehyun may probably break their relationship off. It explains why he went here instead of going back to their bedroom. Of course Jaehyun wouldn't want to be reminded of what happened in that room.

They made so many good memories but also made the most hurtful one. Johnny was about to caress Jaehyun's face when the younger suddenly woke up from his sleep, he suddenly sat up and moved away drom Johnny, making Johnny's heart break into pieces, "What are you doing here?" Jaehyun was the first to break the silence, sucking in a deep breath as he looks everywhere but Johnny, "I... I know it's too late but I wanted to apologize." Johnny said, pausing for a moment and waits for Jaehyun to respond. When the younger didn't, he assumed that he gave him the chance to explain now so Johnny began doing so.

"I.. I let my emotions get to me. You were just so busy that we barely had time together.. When was the last we had sex? Whenever I took the initiative, you'd brush me off. And whenever you're back in our room, you knock out. I know you have drama filming but you didn't give us some time together-" Johnny was cut off by the loud scoff that Jaehyun made, the younger finally looks at him. And he felt his heart break as he sees the tears in Jaehyun's eyes. "And that gives you the excuse to fuck Taeyong? He seduced you and you give in? Have you even thought of me when you let your 'so called emotions' eat you up?" he asks, Johnny couldn't speak and this made only Jaehyun snort. He was right, it's no excuse for him. It's the end, Johnny thinks.

Jaehyun took a deep breath before finally speaking, "Look.. I know, we haven't spent much time these days.. I was planning to take you out on a trip because we finally finished our last filming. As soon as we finished, I came back as early as I could, John. That day... I planned everything out. But you- you and Taeyong hyung..." Jaehyun couldn't continue to speak as he chokes out a sob. He harshly wipes the tears away before covering his face with his hands, Johnny couldn't take the scene anymore and ended up pulling the younger in his arms. Hugging him flush to his chest as he sniffs in Jaehyun's scent. God knows how much he missed holding the younger in his arms like this, Jaehyun didn't bother pulling away.

When he felt the younger calm down, Jaehyun pulls away and wipes his tears. Johnny dreaded this moment, the silence was triggering his anxiety when Jaehyun kept his mouth shut. He was anxiously waiting for the younger to speak and when he did, he cut Jaehyun off. "Johnny, I think we should-" "No!" Johnny imemdiately declines, startling the younger male. "No... please... don't.. I... I don't-" "You don't wanna make up?" Jaehyun asks, tilting his head innocently. This caught Johnny off. He wasn't breaking up? "You won't... break up with me?" Johnny asks, hope fills his eyes, Jaehyun blinks at him in confusion before slowly nodding his head. "I won't... you hurt me, John. But when we first dated.. I told you no relationships are perfect.. and so is ours.. However, I can't really forget about this. But, no matter how painful it is.. My love is still stronger. I just needed a break and to gather my thoughts.. Breaking up with you crossed my mind and I debated over that for a few weeks that I was gone." Jaehyun says, biting his inner cheek as he confesses his feelings out. "But, I realized that my heart will always long for you, it will always love you. Because you are my soulmate, Youngho. I could never leave you."

And maybe, even if things do get toxic. Jaehyun will be too much of a martyr person to ever leave Johnny. So, they eventually make up and try to patch their relationship again.

Johnny kisses Jaehyun's forehead as he held the younger in his arms, "Thank you, Yoonoh.." Jaehyun tilts his head and glances up at Johnny, "For what?" "For not becoming my lost one."

[futurewriter2000]

Intricacy on Strings - pt. 8

A/N: I could just end it here, man but it’s not the end yet. So, much more to come but did you notice that I wrote one night, morning and the whole day in like 4 parts?

XX

The two of you weren’t together. 

You shouldn’t feel guilty.

But he left.

And you were running after him. 

“Fred!” you called out his name for the fourth time as you could see him turn another corner. You sped up. “FRED!!” you could barely breathe, the adrenalin letting go, the energy fading and your legs falling numb. 

You collapsed on the floor, tears flooding your eyes as you crawled against the wall and hugged your knees. 

What have you done? 

You sobbed into your uniform, pressing your palms to your eyes and wiping the fallen tears until you felt familiar hands grab your own. You looked up and saw gorgeous aqua marine colour looking back at you, smiling comfortly. 

You wanted to push him away. You did but you couldn’t. Your arms couldn’t. Your strenght couldn’t. “Why did you kiss me?” you asked, trying to wipe the runny nose. 

He smiled wonderfully at you and sat in front of you, legs spread around you. “Because I like you.” he said softly, caressing the back of your hands with his thumb, which was soothing and calming. 

“Why?” 

His answer wasn’t enough for you. You didn’t believe him. 

He continued to look at you, somwhat contemplating the next words carefully before he spills something he would regret. He licked his lips and leaned back. 

“Just tell me the truth?” you cut him before he could even start. 

“I did.”

“The whole truth.” 

He sighed and bit his lower lip. He really did not want to say it but he was backed into the corner, wasn’t he? - “I did kiss you because I like you but...” he paused, shutting his eyes closed and taking a deep breath. “...but I also kissed you because I didn’t want to blow my chance with you, I guess.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I liked you for so long now, (y/n). It’s something in your attitude towards life and people that just amazes me. The way you keep being positive and quirky. You don’t care what other people think or say about you. You put them in their place and it’s that confidence that makes you so attractive to me.”

You stopped to listen. Just listen. 

“I know what you think of me.” he let out a smile, a forced yet sad smile. “I asked around... you practically think of me as a jock full of himself and a man whore.”

You widened your eyes, more guilt pouring into you. “I-” you tried to defend but he raised his hand to stop you. 

“It’s fine. I bullied you in Third year. It’s only fair.” he tried to keep the smile going but it didn’t last long enough. “You know I only started Quidditch because you did.” he let out a laugh and you furrowed your eyebrows. “And you started Quidditch because Fred Weasley did.” he paused, looking away for a moment... almost as if he was heartbroken. Almost as if it hurt for him to say it. “Me pinning over you, you pinning over Fred... I really didn’t want that. I didn’t want you to be with Fred. I want you to be with me- and it’s just... It’s just I waited SO LONG and then I saw Fred looking at you differently and I knew- I knew if I don’t don’t tell you or do something that I might lose you. Just once, once I wanted to just have that feeling of having a chance with you.” he started to get frustrated a bit and from the look on his face, you know he spoke from the heart. 

You smiled. Sincerely. Not because of the fact that Perry Bash, the most wanted and attractive guy in the whole school wants to be with you but because there is this boy in front of you that actually wants you for who you are and he wants you without a second doubt of it. There is nothing to risk except your heart that seemed to be broken by Fred Weasley more than one time. 

Perry continued to face away from you. Shy?- Maybe a bit because the last rays of sun were showing a bit blush on his ears and cheeks. 

“I’m not a slag, (y/n). I’m not a player. I’ve just been with too many wrong people before I realized you were the only one I want. That’s why I kissed you.” he turned back to look at you, eyes pulling down their heaviness and you realized he must be just as tired as you.  

You put your hand on his cheek, his nicely chiseled jaw that seemed soft on the touch. You stared deep into his aqua marine eyes and pushed yourself forward, slowly, patiently leaning yourself agaisnst him with your arm as support, wrapped around his shoulder and your hand pressing on his neck. His eyes looked up at you in surprise and wonder. 

“What are you-?” you didn’t even let him finish, pressing your lips onto his; softly at first and waiting for him to respond. You pulled at first, watching his reaction. “I thought you-” 

“I think I want to be with you too, Perry Bash.” you carresed his skin on the back of his neck, feeling goosebumps under your fingertips as he grinned up at you. “I want to give us a chance.” you said and by now he couldn’t stop smiling, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you down with him as he laid on the ground. 

“You’re not joking with me, right?” he let go of you as he continued to look up, beaming with his perfect teeth. 

“No.” you giggled and he pushed you back to his chest, arms wrapping around you as he rolled both of you on the floor, making him being the one on top. 

“I’m going to make you happy, (y/n)(y/l/n). “ he brought himself to you, pecking your lips and hugging you again, pressing all his weight on your tired, sleepless body. “I’m gonna make you happy.” he mumbled into the crook of your neck. “So happy.” 

You laughed, wrapping your arms around him and brushing your hand up and down his head, digging your figners into his dense black hair. “I know.” you smiled, knowing that was your heart speaking... knowing he won’t hurt you. 

But what your heart wasn’t knowing was that back in the Gryffindor drom, a boy was fuming into existance. 

He could hear you call out for him. He could but he was so furious. He was burning, his insides were burning from rage and jealousy. He wanted to explode, he wanted to kick something, throw? Maybe just run back to the Ravenclaw and punch him straight into his perfect jaw. 

But he was frustrated. He was frustrated because it’s the first time he had ever felt like this... towards you, towards somebody else and towards himself. He was so frustrated because he didn’t know how to deal with that sort of anger. He had never felt like that, never, not even when somebody was making fun of his family. 

“URGHHH!” he grabbed the pillow and threw it on the other side of the room, then he grabbed another and just started smashing it against the bed , clawing into it as it it would help. Yet, pillows are too soft and gentle to be clawed in. 

His fingers started cramping and the beat up pillow was against his chest now, arms around it as he continued to think of you and the Ravenclaw, of you and him, Fred, who had just wanted to tell you he loves you. It hurt him. It hurt not only his fingers but his insides. He could feel physical pain in his chest and in his ribs as he breathed in and out. 

He thought of you. And him. 

You kissed him back...

...yet you ran after him when he stormed away. 

Was it pity? Or was it love? 

What was it, (y/n)?